Circle Time.

I've learned in reading Blogs that i'm not the only basket case in this world. I mean it took me two weeks, tons of phone calls, consistent reassurance, sleepless nights and lots of faith to purchase my Tahoe. But i got through it, I purchased it yesterday. This is normal for me, I have to analyze things to death. I dont just beat a dead horse, mostly its my fault for killing it.

But like i said, i have learned that i am not alone. I am not the only neurotic anal retentive crazy person in this world, and there are others with less AND more craziness within themselves than i have, which of course only makes me ponder thoughts as to why i'm not less crazy in the head but thats another post.

BUT i recognize the symptoms when i am reading other blogs...... (This is not the time for me to link blogs i read, LOL) Sometimes i'll be reading one and think, "WOW, that is just.like.me! I could have written that paragraph myself! At which time i comment and state, " I could have written that paragraph myself......... no your not crazy.......How could you think such a thing.....You are completely NORMAL..." and I am thinking the whole time "Hell yeah, i'm not the only wacko out here!" And frankly, it'll be nice to have friends in my wing at the mental hospital.

So to all of us on our way to the mental ward, those of us who already live there, and those of us who think our home is a mental ward, I'm dedicating this "funny" to you.


Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to
the MotherShip.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will
tell you which number to press.("Press 8. You really want to press 8.
You have to, you know. It's what you must do. Press 8 now!)


If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before
the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 0. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 0. If you have short-term memory loss, press 0.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too
busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan,
lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde , don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it
up.


Amen. and Welcome.