Who needs sleep any fucking way!!

3a.m. came awfully early last night but it was then that my eyes popped open and reality hit. I don't have a job. I cant believe i don't have a job. Mentally,I'm going through the process, like being absolutely unbelievably pissed off to crying hysterical tears to wanting to pop a Tylenol pm and crawling in the bed at 1 p.m.
I was up and on the cpu polishing my resume and searching for employment. I'm "networking" with and through people that are still employed (LOL) trying to find leads but I'm not getting very far yet.

People are asking what the hubs take on this is, and really, he doesn't have one. I've always "handled my business" and made sure the house budget was done, the bills were paid, the kids weren't in danger of going to foster homes and shit like that so when i looked at him and asked him 15 minutes ago what he thought, he stared at me and asked "about what". When i pushed him a bit, he said he knew i would handle it and find another job and he wasn't worried about it.

Most would think that's great, that he isn't trippin' and wow-what a great husband, etc. but it only puts more fucking pressure on me. I'm slowly weaving a basket case inside my head and am more pissed off that i don't already have another job. Patience isn't a virtue of mine----I'm more the "get the shit taken care of" kinda girl.

This just sucks and that's all anyone can really say to me right now. And although its true, its not encouraging and its not a paycheck.