It wont be over until the fat lady sings.

On yesterdays post, i wrote that i hadn't spoken to the MIL in about 2 weeks.
Who do you think called me today?



But I'm past that. Her intentions are good, i suppose. Its just been many years of her fakey-ness that I'm too old to deal with now.Hell, theres more honesty going on when i tell the hubs what i weigh than what i get from his mom. She's not a bad lady, but she is full of shame. I fault her for hiding within this life. I fault her because its more important in her world that her friends not find out anything "ugly" about her or my husbands family, than it is for her to be honest and deal with a situation like a mother should. She is very much more concerned with what others think, than what she needs to be doing and the steps that (sometimes) only a mother can make to change things.

If you take a right at the rainbow and a left at the unicorn, you'll find her state of mind. Its a state that i don't understand, one that chooses a fake persona over the reality of dealing with her child in trouble and in need of a mother.

She was a horrible step parent according to some of my SIL's and BIL's. (Remember i told you the hubs is one of 6) They have stories of horror to tell how she treated them, spoke to them, etc. but she can stand at full height in hugging them to tell them how much she has missed them. They remember her parenting. They humor her. My husband is her natural son and he refuses to believe it. He refuses to acknowledge that she was downright hateful and mean to his 1/2 siblings. (Whom he is very close to) He knows in his heart that the paths she traveled to get to where she is today were littered with affairs and deceit. I'm certainly not saying his father is a gem I'd wear on my pinkie finger, but he will look you in the eye and tell you what a SOB he was. His mom will look you in the eye and lie. I cannot respect that.

Because we have a his - hers and ours family, fairness is important in our home. This is also the case for the "other grandchildren" - some of them are her "by-birth" grandchildren, and some are her step grandchildren. And she treats them differently. And i cant elaborate without making this a 5 page post, and its Friday so cut me some slack today and i promise to post about it on another day.

Funny thing is, i think she likes me. Sometimes, i really think she likes me. She's fake most of the time, and she can tell you to eat shit and go to hell, all with a smile upon her face but i can tell her that her fat ass can meet me there, all the while smiling back, and truthfully, i think she almost respects that.

I will do this with her until the end. I don't see her changing into a more caring person (if it wont benefit her) Some people are just too old, or have built too many nests with their webs to change. I knew this when i married the hubs, and I've accepted the situation for what it is. But sometimes, i take great joy in watching the color drain from her face when i tell her that i hurt my back because it was my turn to be on top.