The stars say I'm melancholy but that could change any second!

Here I am, Here I am. I threw out my back on V-Day morning. I was just putting on my slacks for work and I guess I twisted wrong because from that point on......... I was in pain. The kinda pain that makes childbirth feel like eating old fashioned vanilla ice cream on a hot day. I couldn't walk, stand or sit. I was uncomfortable in every position except the one that included percocet. I liked that position. I saw a chiropractor twice who electrified me with shock treatment (lol) and massaged my lower back with a machine thingy and adjusted me. Today I'm back at work, and only mildly sore. It still hurts like hell to bend, but I am slowing getting there.

I ate like shit last week, up until today. With Fours Birthday party on Saturday and all the yummy birthday foods, combined with grabbing whatever I could find within limping distance, not to mention hubs cooking while I was "down", I don't think I would have done very good had I been able to leave the house last Thursday to weigh-in. I will be going to my WW weigh-in this week though and have convinced myself to be a bit more serious about my weight loss. It's just seems so much harder when I love me so much already. I hate being defined by my weight in this world. If anything, that's what makes me so bitter. Its not how much I weigh, its the comments that I need to lose weight, or eating THAT would be unhealthy, yadda-yadda. WW and all the other diets require you to CONSTANTLY think about what your eating, where you eat, etc. and frankly, I have one life and I hate that I am spending it thinking about food and their facts. I just want to eat normal and have a level of activity and be done and if my BMI isn't that of a super model, then oh fucking well. Of course I want to be a bit thinner but damn I'm tired of obsessing over the peppermint I just ate. I realize it sounds like I'm giving up, and I promise I'm not, I'm just going to kick up my activity level a bit and back off the eating out, but I'm just sick of thinking and rationalizing every morsel of food. I cant stand it anymore. And that would be the kind of mood I'm in today.

Four had his fourth birthday last saturday. I wanted to do a post about how my baby is now four but I was unable to get to it last week. I'll have to do a post on him and his most awesome cuteness on another day. I will also be posting some pics from party day but my mom and dad inadvertently picked up my camera case when they left on saturday and in that camera case was my USB cable so I am picture-less until I get it back.

Krista and Ro were at our home for the party as well. I loved seeing them. There is never enough time to visit who you need to visit in the month. I suppose there is never enough time to do anything that you really like........

And to top it off,

I AM SICK OF THIS COLD ASS WEATHER-I'M IN A SOUTHERN STATE, IT SHOULD NOT BE 20 FREAKIN' DEGREES HERE! Would someone pa-lease put in a good word with the weather god? I promise to overlook my hubs when he is in a "mood" if it will just get a bit warmer outside!! I'm begging for the days when I don't have to warm up the car in the morning. I'm willing to sell the soul of my mother-in-law for one whole saturday of opened windows and kids outside. Hell, he can have my father-in-law as well. JUST GIMME SOME NICE WARM 70'S AIR!!

Again, this would be the kind of mood I'm in today.