They say as a parent, regardless as to whether you acknowledge it or not, you live vicariously through your children. You know, the parent who never went to college who is willing to sell their soul so their child can go, the dad whose son made the football team just like he did, or the daughter who strives to be just like her mom, thus making mom proud. We all want the absolute best for our children...... and then some. I want my children to be better.
There was nothing wrong with my child hood, pretty textbook if you ask me. Family dinners, car pools, parents sitting on those oh-so-hard- steel benches at football games for my band performances or my brothers soccer games. (Oh, those benches. I had to sit on them for an hour and a half during the parent meeting to advice us all the rules should our daughters make the cheer squad. I shook, and shimmied, and twisted and leaned but nothing helped. Those dreadful wooden gym bleachers. Bleachers from hell. They were in no way made for the fanny of a parent, even if you are 4'11 and 80 pounds, those bleachers are your enemy)
Anyway, as happy and healthy as my childhood was, I still want better for my children. I remember when i tried out for cheerleading in 6Th grade. I was the unpopular dork in the back that couldn't remember the words to the cheer. The one whose 6Th grade band teacher made her play trombone with all the boys in band. (I later switched to clarinet) I was at a school where i knew no one. We had moved over the summer and the school that all my new neighbors went to was full. They were either going to bus me back to the ghetto where college student housing kids went (my dad had graduated and we moved out of student housing during the summer) or my parents had to drop me off at a school that was near one of their offices. I was enrolled at this school where i had no friends, no one to come home and be friendly with (Hence all the neighbors went to the assigned school) and i was a nerd. Oh- so nerdy!!
Throughout the year i was able to make friends and for some reason, knowing i didn't have a sugar baby's chance in hell, i tried out for cheerleading. It was awful. I remember the other little bastards (I can say that now as an adult) picking on me. Those snotty little cheerleaders i hated so much, but was dying to be one inside. Or maybe just popular? Damned if i knew what my problem was, i was just skatin' through that year.
The good news is that after that year, I went to the assigned school and made many friends. I was more popular, more "in-style" (finally after college graduations and careers budding, my parents were able to afford those pink guess jeans. lol) and i was happier, but i never, ever tried out for cheerleading again. I think i did band for another year and was done with that too.
So i do the best i can to keep my kids in-style, and keep up with most of the Jones's. (without putting us in the poor house) I wont preach to you that "my kids will wear kmart clothes and be damn happy that they have clothes".... (Once they got to about 4th-5th grade, i started paying attention to what the other kids were wearing) I wont do that to them. I personally remember those little shit heads making fun of me in 6th grade, the cruel names i wont repeat that they called me. (Only because they are still embarrassing)
We keep the kids in decent clothes, some name brand and some not, we keep them well rounded. I don't want them being the most popular kids in school, picking on others, but i don't want them being picked on either. We try to keep a balance, and its hard. Kids are more cruel today than they were 20 years ago. I see more parents today expecting the school to raise their kids. Now- if i can work full time (When i get a job again- wa!) and still manage to run my household and spend time with my kids, than its possible for others as well.
Ok, I'm done, was getting off topic there for a bit, and want to get back on......
I want my kids to have friends and be popular and be happy and have all the opportunities to do the things i wasn't able to. And my oldest is doing just that.
She made her middle school cheerleading squad. The year that i was the biggest flop in the school, she not only mastered with excellent grades, she exceeded and worked very hard to represent her school in cheer. I couldn't be any prouder.
(This isnt my most recent picture of her, but its one of the few i have on this cpu)
Monday, April 9, 2007
Ready........OK!
Posted by kheatherg at Monday, April 09, 2007
Labels: Twelve
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3 comments:
We tried as parents. Glad to see that no permanent damage was done despite the many nights I laid awake trying to think of mean things to do to my daughter. At least thats what she told me repeatedly from 13-16! LOL We all wish 12 the best & I always remind her, "never be mean to anyone, cause you never know who they are going to grow up to be, president or serial killer you don't want an enemy of either." Words of wisdom by the G-mom
Ah, I understand completely. My two (2 years and 6 months) are why I am striving for a better career, to go to school, and all that jazz. I want to give to them things I never had. Like you, I was the nerdy dork who unbelievably tried out for cheerleading at the end of seventh grade. They had a team of 30. Only two of us were cut, me and the fat kid who had BO. I was mortified and didn't hardly speak again to anyway until I hit my junior year. By that time, I had excelled in band to the top seat in the woodwind section and my grades were pretty good if not great (mostly math sucked). I got those cheerleading bitches back later during my senior year when they found out I was good at gymnastics and light- they asked me to be their flyer and I told them hell no! My parents never had much to offer except love and encouragement. My father was a carpenter drop out who never got past the 8th grade and mom had her GED, but was never allowed to work out of the home until I was in 5th grade (then my g. parents got sick and she was never home anyway). I was the first in my family to go to college, much less graduate. I frequently went home alone from sixth grade on until graduation and many mornings got myself up to go to catch the bus to school. I wish my parents had been there for me and witnessed more of what I accomplished, but oddly I'm thankful they weren't there as much because it taught self-reliance and gave me an 'inner core of steel'. We all want more for our children, and if you're a good parent, that's the way it should be.
I was never into being a cheerleader. Even then I recognized the fact that I am completely uncoordinated.
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